Paintings from the black lagoon


Gag me with a spoon, as the kids used to say

Most Americans hated the portraits of former President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle that were unveiled Monday at the Smithsonian’s National Portrait Gallery in Washington, DC.

Obama’s portrait was painted by Kehinde Wiley,


who is known for his black power paintings, including black people beheading white people —


— and Michelle Obama was painted by another black predominist Amy Sherald.

The chief critisicm of the depiction of Obama is that his hands are abnormally large and appear to have an extra finger on the left hand—


— while the portrait of Mrs Obama simply looks nothing like her.

The consensus was that the portraits were rotten, a feeling that was shared by almost all Americans. Everyone except the slaveringly liberal New Yorker magazine.

“Obama’s truest political gift, perhaps, was the ability to let a thousand flowers of expectation, born of history, bloom,” wrote Staff writer Vinson Cunningham in a sickenly saccharine display of Obama worship.


“The flora in the portrait represent the stations of Obama’s scattered personal and ancestral past—blue lilies for Kenya; jasmine for Hawaii; chrysanthemums for Chicago—and their momentary intrusion might hint at the ways in which the man was somewhat shrouded by the dazzling story that delivered him into his nation’s arms. He was hyper-visible and yet always partly hidden.”

Gag me with a spoon as the younger generation used to say.

Amy Sherald

In describing Mrs Obama’s portrait, staff writer Doreen St. Félix wrote, “The painting is shocking because Sherald  has somehow conjured a vision of Michelle Obama, one of the most photographed women in history, that we have not yet seen—one free of the candid Washingtonian glamour. From some distance, I can imagine, the figure might not be immediately recognizable.”

You got that last part right, girl. In other words it’s a lousy painting that looks nothing like her.

But really, when you come down to it, who gives a flying fuck anyway. America has had enough of the almighty Obamas. They’re in the same category as Hillary Clinton, to whom the majority of Americans (and let’s face it, it’s only the majority that counts) says: Go away, you are history, it’s a whole new world in America these days and it’s under the control of President Trump and the Deplorables, and some pretty ones at that. God bless ‘em.